Stress is hell. I've only been able to go online once a week, as opposed to my former twice-a-day routine... Playing PSX? Don't even ask... It makes me so frustrated, remembering how I used to play like 5 hours a day in the summer and the same on weekends, while now I consider myself lucky if I get to play for thirty minutes a week. Yes, I am not used to studying. I have never studied in my entire life, with the sole exception of grade one... My state of being study habit-less is now taking its toll on me...

Grrgh... I have now figured out what pulls the rope of my semi-problem and causes it to inflate and therefore float on the waters of my consciousness. It took me sooo very long to realize this, which proves that I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Oh well, at least noow it can be avoided. *grins*

God, I miss my friends. I feel as if I'm in constant isolation and I don't even know why. It sucks... It's like I live in a completely separate world and I don't belong anywhere. Is this some hormonal side-effect of puberty again? Does it go along with my all too frequent bouts of shallowness and sensitivity? Gawd, I want it to stop. I want to be numb again. Somehow things are easier that way. It makes you lose more friends, but hey... what's the point of desperately clinging to something that won't last for more than three years after this one? Cynical, jaded, blahblahblah... Things I like to call myself and stuff that other people think of me even more... It probably ain't even true... So don't think it. Don't try to delude me into thinking things are what they aren't, the way I've done for too long.

I don't make sense.