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* Friday, October 25 *
Feeling: nostalgic, would you believe?
Latest indulgence: more sweets than I can afford
Current frustration: none, as of the moment
Craving: nothing
Obsessed with: life
I want: to continue feeling like this
Last Movie Seen: just finished crying over Legends of the Fall
Flipping through: the same books
Project: music
Song I'm Singing: No Such Thing by John Mayer
It's early afternoon right now. It's the time of day, when my room is lit with nothing but sunlight and the day is glorious and time seems to have stopped. I love afternoons like this. *smiles serenely* It's strange to think that the sight of my room in its bright yellow glory is something I don't think I'll always be able to enjoy. It's even stranger to think that in a few month's time, my room won't even be here and I'll no longer be able to see the stacks of books on the glass table highlighted by shafts of golden sunlight. It reminds me of how ephemeral everything is, how temporary. It scares me that someday I'll only have memories. For now, I shall try to live within this moment and hope that another will come.
* Sunday, October 13 *
Feeling: fine and dandy (?)
Latest indulgence: a new phone and wasting credits for it, ditching work, eating basically nothing but junk food all weekend
Current frustration: same as the last
Craving: nothing right now; I'm full
Obsessed with: personalizing my phone
I want: to just get into the Ateneo for my dream course
Last Movie Seen: 28 Days, Love Story
Flipping through: my 3315 manual
Project: rewriting my notes, I.W.
I got a new phone! (Stating the obvious, if you read the top of the entry) Keeping my old number though. Trying to find tones for it, but can't seem to decide on what I want, or to find the ones that I do decide on. Hmpf! I only have two, so far. Please tell me of sites that have perfect compositions. Hehe, idleness and shallowness - how I have been wallowing in you both.
Anyhoo, Family Day was today. I enjoyed singing for the mass, but then I usually enjoy singing, so... *shrugs* I left soon after the mass, because my family was with me. I would've stayed longer, if they hadn't been with me. Feel extremely accepted in my class right now. I marvel at it.
In other news, Chesca thought I was a mommy from the back. How disturbing.
No classes tomorrow! Yipee!!! More time to bum around and do my I.W.!!! Hehehe... I hafta go to the derma tomorrow too - Good God, I wonder what my queer dermatologist has to say about my appearance this time.
Love Story was a wonderful movie. It followed the book very well. Even made me cry...
* Thursday, October 10 *
Feeling: frustrated
Latest indulgence: a bar of Toblerone
Current frustration: getting into the college that I want for the course that I want
Craving: paella
Obsessed with: doing well in school (right now, at least)
I want: to be one of the top four
Last Movie Seen: snatches of Charlie's Angels from last night
Flipping through: at the moment, The Vampire Lestat
Project: Family Day, Blazon article, I.W.
Song I'm Singing: Be It Unto Me
Hmpf. Don't ask about the stuff in the 3rd, 5th and 6th lines. It's a frustratingly long story. It turns out that all of my desired courses for my first-choice school belongs in the Honors Program. That means that I have to make it into the top 15% of the ACET. There's another alternative to making the top 15% though, and that's making it into the top 2.5% of the batch. I don't want to think about it. This is my motivation for the rest of this schoolyear and the next two years.
Chi-chan's birthday on Saturday. Adcanced HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHES!!! (In case, I don't get to blog on Saturday)
* Tuesday, October 8 *
Feeling: restless
Latest indulgence: a raspberry gatsby, two sticks of lip balm, 3 VCDs
Current frustration: Blazon article
Craving: Cinzeo cinnamon rolls
Obsessed with: money
I want: a Magic 8-ball and Harvest Moon 3 for GBC
Last Movie Seen: bits and pieces of Meet the Parents, will soon watch Love Story
Flipping through: nothing, but I wish I were flipping through The 50 Greatest Love Letters Ever Written
Project: Family Day, I.W.
Just came home from the mall. Went to The Podium to check out Gallery 325 (?), a jewellry store, for a new cross. Found their pendants to be HUGE and ended up not buying one. Passed by the bookstore Ink and Stone and just drooled over what I saw. (What a time to be broke...) Checked out some other stores and bought my new raspberry gatsby (or is it a poorboy cap? someone please explain the difference) at People Are People. Browsed through Astropolis (?) and debated over getting Love Story or An Affair to Remember along with volumes 4 and 5 of Friends Season 8. Ended up getting Love Story, because the cover of An Affair to Remember was ugly. Hoping that I do not regret this choice.
Watched a bit of the Linda Mcartney (sp?) Story on HBO a while ago. Kinda made me interested in the Beatles, but promptly quashed this... Am not in the mood.
* Monday, October 7 *
Feeling: upset
Latest indulgence: staying out LATE and making my siblings wait
Current frustration: see above
Craving: a chance to re-live the day
Obsessed with: bah, nothing
I want: to be able to eat dinner without getting scolded again
Last Movie Seen: Shop Around the Corner
Flipping through: A History of the World (for school)
Project: Blazon article, Family Day
Want to hear inside my head?
CONSCIENCE: See... I told you so.
ME: Shut up, I don't want to hear it.
CONSCIENCE: It's never a choice between whether you want to or not, it's whether you have to.
ME: Augh... Not the tirade...
CONSCIENCE: You see, Christa, the problem with you is that you want to please people, but you don't know how to do that without stepping on someone else's toes. You have no real sense of priorities, add that to the fact that you have a real tendency to be selfish, self-centered and inconsiderate to others at times. This leads to manifestations, such as a while ago's events.
ME: Quit the psychobabble - do you know how weird it is for a girl to be psycho-analyzing herself. This kind of pop psychology never really works anyway.
CONSCIENCE: But all that I'm saying is true, isn't it? *smiles angelically*
ME: *grumble* Maybe, I'm still not sure about how much of that is real and just a "mask."
CONSCIENCE: Ah-ah-ah! *makes tsk-ing sound and wags forefinger* Don't hide behind the old schizophrenic case you adapted from the retreat. It isn't going to work on me. Anyway, where was I?
ME: How I'm inconsiderate and all that.
CONSCIENCE: Oh yes! You also have no concept of time.
ME: Mom said that, stop plagiarizing, because you can't think of anything else.
CONSCIENCE: *ignores* She might buy you a watch tomorrow when you go to Galle - just to prove her point.
ME: *outraged* No! She can't, that's on my rites of independence list! I'm supposed to do that for myself.
CONSCIENCE: Just a possibility... She is sick of your always being late...
ME: Aaaww... Dang it!
CONSCIENCE: *smirks* I told you so...
ME: Shaddup. You're not the one who has to go through dinner with a lecture to go with her rice and viand.
CONSCIENCE: *sing-song* It's not like you don't deserve it...
ME: Shaddup.
* Friday, October 4 *
Feeling: happy, but stangely restless and also a bit tired
Latest indulgence: procastinating my studies
Current frustration: none that I can really call frustrating
Craving: chocolate
Obsessed with: being and doing good
I want: to continue feeling this good
Last Movie Seen: nothing since the last, but I will watch The Mexican later
Flipping through: the same books
Song I'm Singing: Fix My Eyes on Jesus Christ
"and her eyes quivered as if they were crying, but there were absolutely no tears.'
- Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat
This phrase describes my retreat experience perfectly - how I was struck but not moved, how I felt such a deep ache and yet couldn't bring myself to weep for it, and most of all, how I resolve to be.
I'm on my after-retreat-high. I hope it lasts. *smiles serenely*
We had Panagpuan today. It was a great experience, but I'd rather not describe it; it doesn't feel right to do so just yet. It was very refreshing and I was extremely cheerful about it.Today was a good day. Hopefully, everyday will be just like it. I think I'm aching from feeling so good - either that or I'm hurting because of something I haven't fully realized yet. I'm hoping it's the former though.
PTC was also today, but I don't expect to see my card until tomorrow. Methinks, my dad brought it with him to Batangas. Oh well, it doesn't really matter to me right now.
I feel a strange urge to be good and holy and pure. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.
Today was a good day.
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