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* Tuesday, September 30 *
Today was an odd day. Odd. But okay.
Quote of the Day:
"Did you cut your hair?"
- Mama, when I greeted her after arriving from school
I think my mom doesn't see enough of me. Malamang I didn't cut my hair, because I never get my hair cut without my mom. Very odd indeed.
* Monday, September 29 *
Just when you think your parents have all grown up... Grrr... They're so annoying.
They forgot. They friggin' forgot about the Xavier interaction on Saturday. So when I was reminding my mom about it, she knitted her brows together, and said "Eh di ano ngayon?" *tears her hair out in frustration* So I answered that I had to go to school on Saturday, and I reminded her that it was for CL, and that it was a requirement... She totally forgot! Both of them did! I thought that it was clear. They READ the letter. My mom and dad conferred silently. My dad signed the reply slip that said I HAD PERMISSION to participate. I gave the reply slip, and the P200. I honestly thought it was a done deal. I just had to show up on Oct. 4. I really thought that was all.
I'm not irritated, because it's over the interaction, okay? Even I'm not that shallow.
I'm just irritated that they forgot. And it looks like I'm not so sure anymore that I'll be in Poveda on Saturday. Akala ko pa naman, okay na sila...
I guess I'm really just irritated that I might be disappointed again. Not just this time... But the other times that I'll want to go places with people who aren't all girls. *sighs*
What rotten luck...
*sighs*
Well, whatever. Life goes on.
* Saturday, September 27 *
AAAAHH!!! It's almost October! Gyah!!! KNP Cotillion practices start in October. Noooo!!!
My dad handed me the letter with the schedule of practices. It was addressed to 'Ms. Krista Castillo'. *snorts* Then scribbled at the bottom: 'For Castillo Dancers, Long Gown - Any Shade of Pink' PINK!!! Even my mom got irritated, the stupid letter said it had to be a red MESTIZA dress, or on in IMELDA freaking MARCOS's style. It's going to be on the 30th of December, not Valentine's day! Come on! This is the same dress I'm going to be wearing to the prom, it can't be pink! And even if I weren't wearing it to the prom, it's bleeding pink!!! This is ME were talking about - in PINK.
I refuse. I simply refuse.
Who cares if I'll be the only one dancing in pale green, or whatever color the dress was going to be in? I really don't want to wear pink - I look like a naked PIG in pink.
Screw it. I don't care how shallow or stubborn I sound.
No pink.
* Friday, September 26 *
Latest indulgence: shopping and chocolate
Craving: Lays potato chips
Flipping through: Diary of a Mad Bride - Laura Wolf
Song I'm Singing: Jealousy - Natalie Merchant
I learned something profound today. Wow. It seems so simple, but it really struck me.
Those who openly show their love are the ones that are loved the most openly.
I'm pretty sure that most people would say that I'm stating the obvious. I know I wasn't able to truly convey what I realized a while ago. I haven't the words to really explain this now. Words elude me again. I'm still stunned by the enormity of the world's latest revelation to me. Wala lang. Ang galeng lang talaga. Parang... Some things that once confused me make sense now.
No matter how irritating I find someone, no matter how annoyed I get, I know now that she is truly loved by someone I always wondered about. And maybe now I also understand why.
There is hope for the confused. And wisdom DOES come eventually to all of us, but apparently a little bit at a time.
Hehe, it's funny how some lessons are taught by the most unlikely of teachers. Good night everyone. I'm going to stew on this for a while.
I'm still tired, but I think I've found this revelation quite inspiring. I will get through all this after all.
The Lord really is so wonderful. :)
* Thursday, September 25 *
Angel of the Day: Kat, for listening to my confusion, and telling me that things will still be alright.
I'm tired.
Tired of thinking.
Tired of analyzing.
Tired of finding a way to make everything perfect again.
Tired of always trying to be happy.
Tired of always trying to be good.
Tired of knowing.
But really so tired of remembering.
Just tired.
Kalimutan na lang natin na noon, malamig at malinis ang ulan, maaliwalas ang pakiramdam ng dahang-dahang nababasa't halos nakalulunod sa tuwa, at nakalalaya ang bawat indak ng ating pagsayaw sa ilalim ng makulimlim na ulap. Tandaan na lang na ang araw ay sumikat na, at kailangan sanayin ang sarili sa init at silaw. Matagal ng nagtuyo ang tubig-ulan, at ang langit ay bughaw uli. Iba nang klaseng kasayahan ang maaaring matagpuan, kung hahanapin lamang at kakalimutan ang ulan.
* Wednesday, September 24 *
Angel of the Day: Anna, because I really, REALLY miss her as my classmate.
Goodness. I just watched the entire interview of Kris Aquino on ABS-CBN. Can I just say? WHOA!!! It's like watching a train wreck - it's horrible, but you just can't seem to tear your eyes away! Shucks... Grabe, Povedan talaga to the core si Kris. Say what you will, but she can really make a dramatic speech - ang galing na politician, but her lines came from B-grade Pinoy movies. Basta... super drama!
My parents were really amused by it. Hehe, they were laughing most of the time, but.. Weh. My mom said, "Anak, learn from her. Better not to marry, kung ganyan rin lang ang mapapangasawa." Oh, come on! Of all the cheesy lines... Parents... Tsss... But it is funny... In an unfunny sort of way.
Report card comes out on the 10th. I'm scared for CL, Computer, and THE. >.<;;;
* Tuesday, September 23 *
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON! Wow, 17! You're so old! Hehe, joke! :)
Bea, sorry I wasn't able to send you the tone you wanted. I checked my gbook too late.
* Sunday, September 21 *
Angel of the Day: Xine and Bobbie, for making me laugh and smile
Grrr!!! I don't know what's with me lately. Shucks, I'm in such a bad mood, and I've been feeling so rotten. Nanggigigil talaga ako! Wala namang panggigigilan... I've been getting irritated with certain people for no reason at all, and of course, it doesn't bother anyone else but me. Argh... Do you know the feeling, when you feel like everyone's swimming in their own little circles, and you're just there, totally unable to find your direction, so you watch while other people go on with their lives, and you think about them, but they sure as hell aren't thinking about you? I HAVE NO LIFE!!! Shit. I'm so pissed!!! I'm angry at... NOTHING, and that's the most frustrating thing of all!
I honestly think this is what happens, when you don't talk to anyone outside your family for a whole weekend. Text is okay, but right now it's not enough. GAAAH!!!
I'm going to go soak my head in water now... Or find someone... or SOMETHING to talk to. Shit talaga.
* Saturday, September 20 *
Latest indulgence: shopping and Markenburg marshmallows
Craving: three-cheese quesadillas
I want: to talk to someone
Obsessed with: college
Last Movie Seen: Hercules; LOTR-TTT
Song I'm Singing: What'll She Look Like - Stephen Speaks
First things first: BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PIA!!! Okay... Not like she'll see it, but it's the thought that counts, right?
Oh... Aaron's turning 17 in a couple of days too. Wow A, you're so old! Hehe. I miss you guys - I dreamt about you a couple of nights ago. I think I was remembering our last summer together. Haay... I hope you're happy there. :)
Hmmm... I saw an *interesting*-looking guy yesterday, as I was leaving the school. He was perched on the ledge by the stairs in the middle of the road between Galle and Poveda. He was wearing a beige skull cap, a loose white shirt, and jeans, so I couldn't tell what school he was from. He had glasses and looked kinda mestizo (not chinito, thank you). I think he was from La Salle, so weh... But he looked very *interesting* indeed. Hehe... La lang... Sharing.
The Spongecola album launching at KAFE Katipunan was last night. I wasn't able to go. Steph, Carla, Cara, and Tara went though. I'm sure they had fun. :)
Hehe, I, on the other hand, went shopping last night. I was able to get a happy pair of red driving shoes - never mind that I can't drive, at least I have new sneakers. It was on sale, so I didn't spend so much. Happy! Fell asleep kinda early after that... Walking the long way from the mall tired me, I guess. I hate having to keep my eyes on the ground just to find a way to keep myself from slipping. I really hate mud. I can't wait until they finish cementing our street - it's been such a hassle!
I watched Hercules a while ago on Disney. It made me cheerful. I really love that movie. I love how it's done in a style different from most of the other Disney animated features. I love Megara - she is so the coolest Disney girl. Well, her and Mulan then... Haay... The joys of Disney...
I also watched LOTR-TTT. It made me kinda sleepy. Weh... It's more fun the first time around, I guess. Or maybe I'm just too restless to enjoy it. Oh well...
I'm bored... But I know I should be doing something productive... Tamad talaga. Durg...
Oh... Prom date update: John's mom offered already that I take him. Well, there we go. Now all I have to do is drop enough hints to my parents, so that they'll fix it already. Kawawa talaga yung pinsan kong yun... *tsktsk*Hehe, Only around a month and a half to go, until the deadline for the dates. Hehe, have fun and good luck, guys! Find your Arnold's, Jay's, Ian's, and *cousins*! I am resigned to my pinsan. *shrugs indifferently*
* Thursday, September 18 *
* Monday, September 15 *
Latest indulgence: slices of Oreo cheesecake
Craving: white cheese pizza
I want: to do better in school
Song I'm Singing: Jumper - Third Eye Blind
Angel of the Day: Kat and Juli, well for the fun kanina
Am finishing a slice of my Oreo cheesecake. Yum... It is good. Wonderful comfort food... Am so glad I made it yesterday. I miss baking though. There really isn't anything like warm freshly baked cookies. This Oreo cheesecake's not bad though, even if it IS no-bake, it is not to be sniffed at. Fan and Anna are even going to pay me to make them cakes of their own. Yay! I'm cooking for the satisfaction of others again. :)
Haay... Today wasn't a very nice day. It started off horribly enough, with me finding out my English exam grade during IW. That upset me mightily... Haay. But it's okay now. I talked to Mrs. Perez, and she reassured me that I could still get a VG in the card. Whew. But still, this is the first time in high school that I've ever gotten higher in Algebra than in English. It's very unsettling. I wasn't very nice during recess time to my friends, then I wasn't able to eat with them pa during lunch, because i had to eat with my Apostolic Group, Self-Control. It was fun, bonding with them and sharing and making kwento. Hehe, Ericka was so cute! Ztan!! Haha, I want a crush like Ztan too! :D
Tomorrow, we get the Chem and Geom results. At least, I think we will. I really don't want to see the Chem results. I have a pretty good feeling that I failed that test.
CO's don't despair. There's more to buhay CO than feeling tired and hurt. I love you guys. I'm here lang. Hehe, I may not like it that I can't eat in class anymore and stuff, but I'm still supporting you guys, because you're my friends and I know you're trying your best. Kat and Krys, please don't cry anymore. Juli and Mica, hang in there, okay? Bianx, and all the rest of my friends who are COs, I'm cheering you on. :) Just don't forget why you do what you do.
Hmmm... We have SCOP workshops tomorrow. I really wanted to join Street Jazz and Musical Theatre, but the slots filled up in my class real fast. I ended up taking Production and Direction. Weh... Wala pa akong kasama sa kada. They're all either in Street Jazz or someother workshop. How annoying. Even Tara's in Street Jazz. But Production and Diretion should be interesting enough. I bet it'll help a lot too, when presentation time comes. The speaker's supposedly from MTV. Oh well, whatever.
Okay, later.
* Saturday, September 13 *
Latest indulgence: eating a lot of food! :D
Craving: chocolate
I want: to go to the dentist for my erupting wisdom tooth
Last Movie Seen: Life or Something Like It
Song I'm Singing: WE're Dancing - Mandy Moore
Angel of the Day: Yla, Kissa, Juli and Niann for their best gig
Hehe, I just came home from Yla's houseblessing party. It was fun, hanging out. I left really early though, but like that's a surprise, ne? It's me after all. I feel so blessed. Hehe, I love being the #1 groupie, of course I share the post with Steph. I got to see Cornerdrive's BEST gig, plus it was their FIRST jazz gig. Woohoo! They did four songs: Don't Dream It's Over, Fever, Fly Me to the Moon, and Say You Love Me. Fly Me to the Moon was definitely the best sang song among the four, but then again, it's KISSA, so malamang it's really good. Pumiyok si Kissa sa end, but overall it had the best effect. I liked Fever also, but I liked it better when she was singing it without the mic. No offense to anyone, but I think it's a lot better for the band that Nan quit. The sound's more versatile, even though there's minimal to no blending na lang. Whee! I love groupie status. But it was kind of weird, because I was the only one there who wasn't from the band - hehe, when Yla's dad would introduce us, he would say "It's the all-female band of my daughter," then I would point out, "Ehe, except me po, moral support lang po ako." Oh well. At least I'm still "with" the band. Wehehehehe!!! :)
Oh well, that's all I really wanted to blog.
Ate Mara and Bobbie, there ARE guapo guys at UP, their just a little hard to find. (Siempre, Kuya Ramon would agree here.) The ditz I overheard was just mistaken. Pero for sure naman talaga that there's often more to a UP guy than his face, diba? ;)
* Friday, September 12 *
Hehe, there's nothing to do at home. I'm tired of reading books. I think I'll go dunk my head in water. Yeah. That sounds good. It'll get rid of my post-exam hang-over. Then I'll go watch movies until my eyes pop out. Yeah... I'll do that until I have to go get ready for tonight.
Hehe, Fannie, Yla, Kissa, Juli, and Niann are all in school for interaction-related activities right now. Haha.
Oh, good luck with the ACET today, seniors!
Thanks to all the people who wished me luck. Perry, Kuya Ramon, Issa, Xine... Thanks so much for the support. :) To all those who took the exams with me, we've made it this far guys. Hehe, now to scale the next molehill - next week, we get back the results. *crosses fingers*
I just got home from Tita Inya's birthday party at their new house. It's right beside a fishing pond, actually that's not very accurate - it stands on land that was shoved into the fishing pond. We were outside, but it was pretty cool. The food was good, as usual. Was bored out of my mind though, and the cigarette smoke had me coughing the entire time. I'm beginning to appreciate certain aspects of that family though. They're amusing enough to listen to sometimes, for about fifteen minutes at a time. I noticed something though... My lolo's brothers dote on me also... I guess I do look like my mom, my grandma, and my lolo's grandma. They seem to treat me that way. *shrugs*
I'm going to Yla's housewarming party tomorrow. Cornerdrive is playing. Yay! I get to watch my first out-of-school gig of theirs. Go me! Go #1 groupie who can't make it to gigs! *giggles* Hehe, bought a top for the occasion, because I realized that the number of "smart casual" articles of clothing I had were painfully few. Anyway... am excited. But then Yla's brother keeps sending me those insulting messages with her phone kanina. Nakakaasar. Nakakawala ng gana. I don't even want to repeat the things that he's been texting. Mrs. Borja's right. Words can hurt. Even if they mean nothing and are spoken by someone who's worth even less.
So there. Lesson learned. Words are daym powerful. So the people out there who flame and backstab... you should be charged with manslaughter.
* Thursday, September 11 *
Well, exams suck totally so far. I don't even want to discuss what's happened in the past two days. Weh...
Oh, but super funny - a while ago, while sitting in the corridor, outside our classroom, Kat and I were reviewing for PE. We stopped when we finished the reviewer, then suddenly I overheard near us a *certain* girl talking about college, nd how she's sat in classes in UP, pretending to be listening, but really checking out the boys. *rolls her eyes* Whatever. And then she realizes, *gasp* that THERE ARE NO GUAPO GUYS IN UP. My face must've spoken volumes... and when I look at Kat, she had the same expression on her face, and she looks away muttering, "Weirdo" under her breath, then she notices that I'm looking at her, and we start laughing uncontrollably.
Gosh. I know most people would say that this girl isn't really a ditz, but HONESTLY... Whoa. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be totally disgusted. Ewan. Buti na lang, Kat and I laughed na lang. Haha. One of the saddest things that will ever make me laugh that hard...
Haay, sige na. I should force myself to study for Lab and Chem and THE at least... I need to get a really good grade in THE to get me at least a G in the card. :c Gah... I really should study na. No more time for laziness. Just one more day, Christa! Just one more day!
I can't wait until tomorrow afternoon.
* Wednesday, September 10 *
* Tuesday, September 9 *
Thanks for being nice, Trix. :D I love yah, and I miss ya tons too. Get a blog, so I can leave you notes in a gbook too! Hehe!
Shucks... I have to study pa for Geom and English and PE and Music (?). Haay...
* Monday, September 8 *
AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I've spent the first two hours of my "study day" doing nothing, except watching TV. I'm wasting even more time, by being here, online. How the hell am I suposed to pass, if I don't get off my butt and study?! Gah! Irritating, irritating... Christa, you're such a couch potato. Okay, fine. Self-talk is supposed to be positive, right?
Weh... I'll go kick my myself to study now.
* Saturday, September 6 *
Craving: coffee jelly with sweet cream and mocha ganache
I want: everything to be okay again
Listening to: Ipo-ipo - Rivermaya
There are times when I wish I could selectively disown some of my extended family. They're just such... burdens. I hate the defeated look on my mom's face, when she knows she has to give something up just to appease people who we don't even like, but are related to. And in the end, I know my brother and I are going to be the ones most affected. It's just frustrating. I don't even want to think about it, because I'll begin the whole helpless cycle again. Grgh... I wish I could rant, but I honestly don't have the strength to. It's a long story I can't bring myself to tell.
I'm supposed to be doing my reflection paper, but I really don't feel like it. Baaad talaga.
Lix, I'll text you when I get more credits.
Trix, thanks.
* Friday, September 5 *
Craving: pizza
I want: to have my sound card or whatever fixed, so I can listen to music again
Obsessed with: the decision of switching to a line or not
Last Movie Seen: a good part of Gossip
Song I'm Singing: A Sorta Fairytale - Tori Amos
Was really sick last night. I had a high fever, a horrid cough, and felt fatigued, but I began to feel better after talking on the phone for about an hour. How amusing. The healing power of the telephone! Hehehe! But really, I guess a week of emotional and mental hell really does take a toll on you physically. right now, I'm not running a fever anymore, but I still feel a little grayish around the edges. Oh well, I hope the feeling's gone by tomorrow though.
Hmmm. Exams next week. I'm supposed to be typing up my half of the CL reviewer, but I'm tinatamad - as usual. Weh... Exams start on the 10th, and end on the 12th. I have around four exams per day. Haay... I really have to do well on my exams, to pull up some of my grades. I'm scared I might get more G's than VG's, which I can't afford, especially since I won't be getting any E's. Haay... Sana di ako tamarin mag-aral!
I've been thinking about asking my parents to switch my phone from pre-paid to a line. I spend around P600 a month on credits, half of which I pay for. I think it would be more economically sound, if I switch to a P500 plan. But then again, some people have warned me of overspending on it. Plus, there's a good chance that this might backfire - my parents could say "Well, since you spend so much money texting, maybe you shouldn't have your phone on weekdays," which would really suck. Then again... My mom kinda suggested it last Thursday. She asked me how much I spent every month. Of course, I didn't answer. I kinda sidestepped the question, because I didn't want to see her reaction to "around P600." But gosh, it's tempting. Mama said that when you get a plan in certain branches of Smart, you get a free Smart Amazing Phone. I love Pol. I really do. But the idea of having a high resolution camera on my phone AND being on a line is really... *sighs* Hm. I need advice on this.
Ano ba naman yan...
I have to go try to study now... :P I have a reflection paper due pa naman on Monday, and I haven't started.
* Wednesday, September 3 *
Angel of the Day: Cara, because we haven't hung out like today for a long time; and Raph, for making me feel better and cheering me up
It's really the people around you who tell you who you are. With people like you (my high society) and all my other wonderful friends (who are too many to each have a separate link), I know I'm worth something. And that I can be strong. And that I will get through this. Just watch me.
* Monday, September 1 *
Latest indulgence: Ovalteenies
Craving: another fruit Danish
I want: to sleep
Obsessed with: music, right now
Song I'm Singing: Song for a Dancer - Stephen Speaks
Angel of the Day: Ericka, for the cookie!
Yehey! Classes were suspended today. How brilliant! :D I'm hapy. Now I can study for Geom, do my IW AND talk on the phone! How wonderful is this? *dances around*
Hehe, I wanted to wait in the car until they announced suspended classes on the radio, but then it didn't seem like Mayor Belmonte was about to do that soon (you can imagine the number of people who went to rag on Reggie... LOL), so I went to school anyway. Oh well... Was in a generally bad mood, until we saw the signs of suspension. That was when I got happy. :D Whee!!! Now I can do what I want - sleep and talk on the phone!
Then again... I do have a session test for Geom tomorrow... Weh. Bahala na. I'll review na lang.
Hmmm... I've been thinking lately. Never mind. Not now.
Cooking on Thursday. I can't wait! Wahoo! Operation: Turning Japanese. I just hope that I don't come out of the kitchen smelling like the stovetop grease... >_<;;
Thanks to all the people who tagged and signed the gbook. Especially Trix. c: I'll catch up with you guys soon.
Latest indulgence: fruit Danish from the Edsa Shangri-La Bakeshoppe
Craving: paella
I want: to pass Chem without studying for tomorrow's test
Obsessed with: apparently, making other people feel bad
Last Movie Seen: Pirates of the Caribbean
Flipping through: All Blue Moons at the Wallace Hotel
Last Song Syndrome: Why - Avril Lavigne
Angel of the Day: Carla, for cheering me up - I guess
I need one of those books that help you become a more sensitive person. Hehe... It's trouble season for me. I made Lian cry today. Hn. And to think we just had our lesson on verbal abuse - "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will break my heart." Whatever. It probably wasn't WHAT I said, because I only told the TRUTH (which always accompanies love - not that I love Lian, she's my seatmate and constant groupmate, but... wait, I'm getting off-track). I probably should've said what I said in a "nice and gentle" way. *snorts* Too bad, I'm NOT nice and gentle. Besides, she really irritated me na. Plus, I kinda wigged out when I saw the "Ms. Rom cut-out" page. *shudders* It's way too creepy.
I'm making excuses. I should stop.
Fact is, this made me think. I realized (again) that I'm not a very nice person. Sure, I'm nice to the lucky few I call friends - but that's not even all the time. The truth is, I'm a bitch. My close friends and kabarkadas can tell you that much. And keep in mind, these are the people i spend most of my time with. Hehe, and it hits me only now that this isn't very good. Talk about slow.
*sighs*
Anyway... Chem test tomorrow. That sucks. I actually HAVE to study to pass this one, because my grades have been slipping. Not good for the college apps.
Speaking of grades... Eena called my a nerd a while ago. Not seriously, not offensively. But still. I AM NOT A NERD. Is it my fault I look like one? Seriously. I have to try to get contacts... *rolls her eyes* As if naman anyone would be able to recognize me without my glasses, noh? Olats talaga.
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