* the bright one *

she is a daughter of cassiopeia. her home is among the stars, high above reality. she's trying to be good, trying to accept that change is as constant as she is, trying to succeed. she's trying. a star playing connect-the-dots with everything around her, wish upon her as she streaks across the sky - she'll do anything to give you happiness, because she doesn't know how to start pursuing her own. she pulsates with light, if only she weren't blinded.

The 

current mood of chiyo_wingzro@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

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* Sunday, November 30 *

Well. Here I am again. Hehe! :D

November's been one hell of a month! Lots of stuff. Hehe, I think I managed to grow up a lot in this one month. So I'm sixteen. :) It was weird to answer that when Krystle and JM (from KNP Cotillion) asked me how old I was. It felt so strange. But in a good way.

I'm sixteen. Beautiful, beautiful, sixteen. :)

I feel like my life's coming back together again.


making your wish come true at 30.11.03

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* Saturday, November 29 *

I've spent most of today inside the van. I ended up just walking home.

I saw a cat that got runover on the street. What a mess.

Never thought there'd be a time when I'd feel so much like that cat and simultaneously just want to be the freaking cat. Damn.

Roadkill...

Just a thought.


making your wish come true at 29.11.03

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* Thursday, November 27 *

Listening to : Sixteen Candles - Sponge

Okay, so after the horrific event that was my birthday... Here I am. As I have told most of you who asked, my sixteenth birthday was definitely the worst. I swear... I don't think I ever cried that many times on my birthday. Anyway, I'm trying to move on. Breathe in, breathe out - keep living life, right?

Today and yesterday have been pretty good days. Oh. Except the fact that one of my batch mates just killed herself recently. No joke. It hasn't fully hit me yet though. Everyone's in this haze of shock and disbelief. Me included. I'm slowly starting to get affected though... But other than that. Today was a good day. As was yesterday. Hehe.

Thanks go to the Claret boys for their company yesterday.

Thanks go to Juli, Niann, and Cara.

Thanks go to Perry.

Thanks go to Sir JP, the coolest SocSci teacher I've had the experience to know.

Thanks go to my class.

Thanks go to God.

I'll leave with you a picture of four of the most beautiful girls in the world.

That's half of the kada. L-R: Anna, Chesca, Pia, Pam.

I'm so lucky for the people around me. I love you all.


making your wish come true at 27.11.03

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* Saturday, November 22 *

Whoa, haven’t updated in the longest time. Hehe, now I have loads to make kwento.

Friday:

We didn’t have much scheduled for Friday. Just IW, the Mascarda play and Chem. Got hella pissed when they announced that we had to stay in school until four, because I told my mom that I would be going home at 11:35. Things got mucked up then, because I planned to do a lot in the span of time between 11:35 and 3:00, which was when I was supposed to return to the fair for PULSE Part I. I had a sort-of breakdown, because I just really wanted to go home, and I was having a hard time reaching my mom, and I wasn’t sure if I was still going to be allowed to the concert. I ended up crying twice. This is what happens when you mix stress, birthday anxiety, and feminine cycles. (Looking back, I’ve been on hyper bitch mode for the past week. Sorry to those I’ve offended.) Anyway, I got that sorted out, and cleared my head as well as I could. Then I spent the rest of the day with Anna and Yla. We had fun hanging out.

I went through two wardrobe changes in the span of the day. That’s three different outfits. Hehe, I came to school in long khaki shorts, my LnK homevisit rubber shoes, and a plain loose forest green V-neck. Really blah – it was Christa the Tamad. Come recess, I decided to join Ericka and Niann, and put on one of the jerseys I brought for Niann’s gag. So off came the V-neck, on comes a blue-green Miami Dolphins football jersey. I removed my glasses too, so I really looked like a boy. I became Christa “Abdul-Jabbar” the Guapo Guy. I’m not making this up. I really looked like a guy. I saw Mimi’s barkada of twizzletops really point and look at me. I walked like one pa kasi. The kada was cheering when I walked in. [Hehe, from my former “no-boys-but-one-pseudo-ex-girlfriend” status, I gained around… nine (?) new “girlfriends.” Haha! So now I have 10 in all! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!] Then at around four, the weather got t me, and I was itching to change. I went to Galle to charge my phone, because my battery was dead, and bought a pair of pretty dangling earrings. When I went back inside the school, I got a nice white tee for P50 and changed. I looked like a girl again. Hehe. People kept commenting on my metamorphosis. It was funny. I had fun dressing up.

The variety show concert wasn’t bad. Here’s some of the bands that played.
KEPA - freshie band. Not too bad, needs better singers. They sang “Ayoko ng Torpe,” “Breathe,” and an original song. I can’t remember if they did four songs instead of three. Basta. Their lead singer was Perry’s class’s muse. Yla and Anna hated her voice. They were okay. Boring, at worst.
Migz Escueta - Good singer, kinda cute, but no stage presence. Boring. Can’t remember much of what he did. I think he sang “Bigger Than My Body.” I don’t like that song too much.
Paolo Santos - I think he enjoyed our crowd. He was good. Doesn’t have much stage presence though. But his voice is nice. And he has a good ear; his renditions of the John Mayer and Jason Mraz songs used the exact same chords. He made Yla want to play drums. He sang “Close,” which I hate, but also “You and I Both,” so that kept me happy. Yla didn’t mind, but Niann didn’t like that he sang “Don’t Dream It’s Over” though. Hehe, possessive with songs that Corner Drive plays.
Ephesus - AAAAHHH!!! I’m positively smitten with the bassist/singer. The guy came in a Poveda P.E. T-shirt and blue denims. He’s cute, has nice hands and he sings okay. Was disturbed when Niann pointed out that he resembles The Plastic Guy slightly, so I took a closer look. He did resemble The Plastic Guy around the eye brows, and the way he moved his head. But that’s okay, I still like this Ephesus guy. *biggrin* They didn’t sound so good, because of the sound system. We couldn’t hear any of their instruments. Sayang. The guy was so cute – he was like apologizing and stuff. I like them anyway. *biggrin*
The Band Upstairs - I liked the second song they played, “Inside You” or something. It was pretty. They improved from the last time I heard them at Love Notes.
Artichokes - I don’t remember much, except that they played Hole songs and Karla sang. I liked their first song. It was fun. They invited someone from the audience to play the drums for their last song. That was cool.
Mayonnaise - OMG!!! Ang saya! Grabe, fan na ako! It was so much fun! Ang sarap sana mag-mosh, pero olats yung crowd tapos masyadong mababa yung stage. Sayang! Ang saya pa naman. I want their album when it comes out. I <3 Mayonnaise!
Kenosis - Elem band, so mejo elem pa nga ang sound. It was too cluttered. They had a K-hon, bongos and egg shakers all playing at the same time, with only one guitar and a violin that couldn’t be heard. I felt terrible when they sang “Stranded,” I first heard that song with Icey at the Lounge acoustic concert at the fair in freshman year. Abyss performed it and it was so galeng! Tapos this year an elem band plays it and not well pa. Nakakasama ng loob. But their version of “Ironic” was okay na. The percussion tied together by then.
Napoleon’s Army - It was cool, they sang an Imago song that was really nice. I can’t remember what it’s called though… Alam ko lang the phrase “Sabihin mo” was in the chorus. Asteeg, Bagay sa voice ni Dani.
Sponge Cola - I was so tired na, when they were playing pero masaya pa rin. Hehe, they sang this new song “Una.” A string of Yael’s guitar snapped in the middle of a song though, pero tuloy pa rin. At the last song, they played Jeepney, and Yael kinda said a joke in the beginning but no one noticed. It was funny, but it sucked that I was the only one laughing, and people don’t get the joke when you try telling it. Pweh. Yla was really impressed with Chris, the drummer of the band. Niann also enjoyed their performance. I’m happy they did.

Hard Court performed also. They were so galeng! Grabe, I wanted to dance after. Alexi’s so good at dancing!!! Wah! I wish I could dance like that. They also danced with Xavier’s dance troupe and that was okay. I liked the contrast, pero hindi ganun ka cohesive sila as a group. Dancers from Don Bosco also performed. Ang galeng ng routine nila. Yung props nila basketball. I got short clip of them with my digicam, but I don’t get the super galeng parts. Oh well.

Chino and I left the school at around 11:20, we got home at 11:30, but they didn’t open the gat until 11:50. We waited outside our house for 20 minutes. I was so tired pa naman. I got to sleep at around one na. I was in school for a good 17 hours of the day.

Saturday:

I didn’t go to school until around two. I got caught by the makeover booth. Whatever. It wasn’t so embarrassing. I even got picture of myself for posterity’s sake. I met up with Bobbie and we hung out. It was fun and strange. She met my friends, and pronounced the Lechugas “scary.” I was proud. I saw a lot of people. It’s like yesterday was rehash day or something. You know, just a little reminder of my year being fifteen before I turn sixteen. First, Bobbie and I saw The Plastic Guy, who I think didn’t recognize me without my glasses, but kept on looking at me anyway, probably because I looked familiar. I didn’t come up to him na, even though we passed by him around three times (not on purpose, mind you). It would’ve been odd. Then I saw some other people from my group at the interaction, notably Element 103 *coughhotbutnotwholesomecough* and Jarryd, who met Lechugas and hung out wth them for the rest of the fair. (Can I just note that I’ve become immune to 103? *biggrin*) We also saw Joseph Yeo – reminded me of the lovely UAAP days. He is tall. But he isn’t that good-looking to me anymore. Hehe, no more chinitos! During PULSE Part II, the singer of Shading Circles remarkably resembled my last serious crush. It was so weird. Same hair, same look when performing… Grabe. But he sings really well. Ang galling! I’m smitten with him and the Ephesus guy.

I left the concert really early though. I didn’t even get to catch Corner Drive. :c That sucked. I was really bummed about it. That’s why I couldn’t appreciate Shading Circles – they were the band performing before Corner Drive. I feel like such a flake tuloy. Oh well… I went with my parents to Malabon to see the person who would be making my prom dress. She’ll send over the fabric swatches on Monday maybe.

Used the PC for a while after I got home, but I got disconnected from the Internet kaagad. So I called up Raph. We talked for a short while, until my dad made me get off the phone to sleep. Weh.

All in all, it’s been a tiring weekend, and today’s still not over.

And a belated greeting:

HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY, CHINO!!!


making your wish come true at 22.11.03

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* Friday, November 14 *

IT’s About Time Variety Show/Concert Schedule:

November 21, 2003 – Variety Show
5:30 – Kenosis
5:45 – KEPA
6:00 – Paolo Santos
7:00 – Variety
7:15 – Little Black Dress
7:30 – Walk 2 Moons
7:45 – Variety
8:00 – Artichokes
8:15 – Ephesus
8:30 – Stuffed Crust
8:45 – Variety
9:00 – SCOP
9:15 – Napoleon’s Army
9:30 – Variety
9:45 – Mayonnaise
10:00 – Sponge Cola
11:00 – Closing time

November 22, 2003 – PULSE concert
5:00 – Disband
5:15 – Soundcheck
5:30 – Tala
5:45 –
6:00 –
6:15 – Not Applicable
6:30 – Left of Center
6:45 – Corner Drive [WOOHOO! Go guys!]
7:00 – Out of the Box
7:30 – Tryst
7:45 –
8:00 – Bloomfield
8:45 – Firelane
9:00 – Caimbon
9:15 – Sleep Mr. Music Man [Go Ate Mara! c: ]
9:30 – Bridge
10:00 – GenRev
11:00 – Closing time


making your wish come true at 14.11.03

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* Wednesday, November 12 *

Sorry if I've been shallow.

I'm just out of it.

Tell me if you want me to post the band schedule for the fair concerts.


making your wish come true at 12.11.03

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* Tuesday, November 11 *

Feeling: down and pissed
Latest indulgence: donuts and leche flan
Craving: comfort
Obsessed with: my happy birthday
Angel of the Day: everyone, in general

I went prom dress-tela shopping with my mom today at Megamall. We have a concrete idea of what my dress'll look like now. It's really girly, really old-fashioned, but I hope it turns out beautifully. We got some good swatches of lace and some other cloth, I can't remember what.

I also went digicam canvassing. I'm so excited. My mom said it really would be MY camera. Whee!!! I'm sooo excited!

But in other news... I'm just not meant to turn sixteen. All my plans are being shot to hell. Pweh... Who cares anymore? I'm sick of it. I don't want to turn sixteen. Screw it. I don't want to celebrate at all. Crap.

Oh, and go to the Poveda fair. Support Poveda.


making your wish come true at 11.11.03

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* Saturday, November 8 *

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, JAQ!!!

I really miss you! I wish you were here, so I could talk to you, and rant and bitch to you. But mostly, I wish you were here, so I could stop missing you. It doesn't feel real without you. Oh well, I hope you have a great day.


making your wish come true at 8.11.03

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* Friday, November 7 *

The retreat was great. Thank you so much, my friends, for the wonderful friendship-affirmation you have done for me. I love you all so so much. Thank you for sparing the time and energy to write to me so beautifully. You reminded me that I can get past whatever life throws at me. You all are the reason for my current mood. Good night, y'all.

making your wish come true at 7.11.03

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* Tuesday, November 4 *

I've stopped writing palancas, because I wanted to blog.

I was looking through some of the ones I received last year, and I suddenly felt this overpowering sense of nostalgia. I really miss my friends. Why is it that now I feel as if I don't manage my time well enough to keep room for my friends? Why now, when I'm supposed to have gotten the hang of it all? I really really miss people - people whom I see almost everyday, people whom I used to be able to talk to and hug and exchange stories with, people who still mean a lot to me. Gawd... I really miss being with them and laughing with them, making up inside jokes and exchanging the latest cheese about everyone else. I miss totally belonging in my class. I miss talking about things that extend past the four walls of my school. I'm sick of talking about the stupid prom, our dream date, or the latest CL test. I miss the days when we would talk about what it would be like if we ran our own country, or if we were all super rich and visited each other in our own private plane... I'm digressing. Haay... I guess I just miss having a lot less to worry about.

Good night all. I have to write five more palancas.


making your wish come true at 4.11.03

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I think I've accomplished almost everything I need for the retreat on Thursday. I just have to finish writing palancas and pack. Oh, and maybe make an Oreo cheesecake. Otherwise, it can wait until after the retreat. I feel so tired. I don't know why. I kinda wish the break were longer.

Anyway, I just finished writing the most honest and most revealing paper I've ever written. Gosh, it took a lot out of me. I feel wide open right now. Like someone just forced a hole into my heart, and now everyone can see into it. I'm still reeling, I guess. I'm scared of showing it to anyone else.

I went to Tita Lulu's to print it out. I just got back, actually. I heard John play the guitar. He was using his electric one. You could hear him playing from outside the house. Wow. Wala lang... Ang galing pala ng pinsan ko. Hehe. I want to hear them play na tuloy. Hehe. Wannabe-fan ako... Ampathetic. Oh well, bagong band! Hehe.

Retreat stuff beckons. I'll see you guys on Friday afternoon.


making your wish come true at 4.11.03

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* Monday, November 3 *

Weh... It's the last day of the break, and I still have a ton of stuff to do by tomorrow. *sighs*

Will blog again later... Forgot what I was supposed to say.


making your wish come true at 3.11.03

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* Sunday, November 2 *

Eurgh... It still looks awful. I'll get around to fixing it later... Not now. Am feeling way too lazy. At least it's a change, right? Nice, and BRIGHT, and summer-y... Hehe, and NOT blue. Now people can't tell me that I'm way too attached to my blue. Anyway... Survey from Friendster.

1. Have you ever been in love?
Hmmm... Difficult question. Yes, I've been in love - but never with a person.

2. How do you know its love?
I guess it's when you can be happy for the person, even if it hurts you.

3.What makes you fall?
It's a combination of things - but I don't want to say that something makes you fall, I'd rather say somethink makes me choose to fall.

4.What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a bad kisser?
Skip this... It's not worth answering.

5.What turns you on (at 1st sight)?
Sight? Okay, I guess braod shoulders, and a nice back. Smooth, clear skin.

6. Are you the jealous type?
Hehe, "jelly..."

7. Body or brains?
Can't it be balanced? Um, I guess I lean towards brains.

8. Do looks matter?
I'm not so sure anymore. I guess not. :)

9. What turns you off?
Unwholesome, inappropriate, ungentlemanly, self-centered behavior

10. The perfect date?
It all depends on who I'm with.

11. What do you have that will make a person fall?
How am I supposed to know? ..I dunno... I guess I can be "sweet" when I want to be.

12. Do you still believe in courtship?
Yup, old-fashioned as it may seem, courtship is the way to go!

13. Flowers or chocolates?
This is rather strange coming from me, but I'd actually rather receive flowers from a boy.

14. Kiss on the first date?
Maybe... Depends on how it goes, and it depends on how gentlemanly the guy is.

15. Sex on the first date?
Only if the first date comes after marriage - so obviously no.

16. What would you do if you find out that your girlfriend/boyfriend is cheating on you?
I don't know... Cry out of sheer fury probably, then get my dad to kill the SOB, or at least put the fear of God into him.

17. Have you ever cheated on someone?
Not applicable (not the band, ha?)

18. Fling or long term relationship?
A long-term relationship with the right person.

19. What do you think of holding hands in public?
As long as the public does not include anyone I'm related to by blood.

20. What do you think of kissing in public?
Maybe if no one was around...

21. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a smoker?
No smoking please. If the person really cared, they would've stopped.

22. Ever fell in love with a friend of the same sex?
*raises eyebrow* Nope - Kat doesn't count, that was just for fun. ;D

23. What would a girl/guy have to do to win your heart?
Love me sincerely.

24. Love song?
"That's All" - Michael Buble

25. Sad love song?
"I'll Never Smile Again" - Frank Sinatra

26. Would you answer this survey?
Stupid... I just did.


making your wish come true at 2.11.03

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